My boyfriend Toby has shared some feelings on his gender identity on tumblr. He raises the issue of being a transman but having some typically feminine interests:

I’ve never felt happier and calmer about my identity since I realised that’s all bullshit, and I can be a man regardless of how “feminine” I am. I’d never say that a cis man is not a man just because he liked those “girly” things as a kid, or he isn’t into sports, or he has long hair, or whatever else. So why was I invalidating my male identity based on that stuff? Why can’t I be a man, regardless of my behaviour? Should I have to be extra masculine, more than a cis man, to “prove” I’m male?

I'm still in "OMG my boyfriend is so awesome <3 <3 <3" mode, but I thought his piece was genuinely mature and well thought out. Since we first talked about his trans feelings, I've learned a lot about gender. I've made assumptions in the past and thought in terms of gender binary. This is helping me grow and see that the variety of people. 


I feel Toby has had many important epiphanies about gender, and this is certainly one of them. So proud of you baby. :*